Positive psychology is NOT "Happy-ology"
- Martin Seligman
The only people who don't experience pain are psychopaths... and the dead.
- Tal ben-Shahar
- Martin Seligman
The only people who don't experience pain are psychopaths... and the dead.
- Tal ben-Shahar
The "quick link" for this page is: tinyurl.com/notHappyology
Positive psychology is not about denying negative experiences. You will have negative emotions in your life. Everyone does. Here are some things you can try. Try a few. See what makes you feel better. And remember, the negative feelings will pass. Give yourself time.
Here are over 45 things you can do. The links will give you more information and ideas.
Send feedback, suggestions and other links to: marchelgesen(at)gmail.com
Positive psychology is not about denying negative experiences. You will have negative emotions in your life. Everyone does. Here are some things you can try. Try a few. See what makes you feel better. And remember, the negative feelings will pass. Give yourself time.
Here are over 45 things you can do. The links will give you more information and ideas.
Send feedback, suggestions and other links to: marchelgesen(at)gmail.com
Realistic Expectations. Life will have ups and downs. That is true for every one. The "realistic expectations" link is to a podcast that is an interview with a woman comparing what she expects in her native Costa Rica vs. the USA where she grew up. And HERE is a blog about setting realistic expectations.
Dealing with Covid stress. First, take care of yourself as a teacher. We are under a lot of stress. (tips from UNICEF). Also, notice stress in your students and give them ways to encourage their well-being..
Isolation & loneliness. Whether because of the pandemic or just because you don't happen to have someone to connect with, this is a problem. HERE at tips from the Mental Health Foundation. And MORE from the NIH (National Institutes for Health). Just need to make more friends? Try these ideas.
Love and romance just aren't working out. This is a hard topic because everyone's situation is different. But here are a couple articles that might help: When your relationship sucks, take these 5 steps. And 5 lessons on romance. Maybe this is the most important one: Learn to LOVE YOURSELF.
Job crafting. Whether you are a teacher, a student looking forward to a career or anyone else working a job, you can "craft" your position to make it more meaningful. This article by the creators of the idea give you the background on job crafting. The this article gives you example of how to modify your job. But what if your job really sucks, and you can't do anything about it. Here's something to try. Good luck!
Related: Want to help the part-time teachers at your school? (this can be part of your own job crafting), See these articles: Millner, 2017. Helgesen, October 2019. p. 13-16 (update of Helgesen, 2009).
Related: Want to help the part-time teachers at your school? (this can be part of your own job crafting), See these articles: Millner, 2017. Helgesen, October 2019. p. 13-16 (update of Helgesen, 2009).
• Savor (a meal, fruit, candy, almost anything but food is easy to savor). The key: eat it slowly. Use all the senses. HERE is a script for teaching your students to eat a blueberry with mindfulness. It works with any food.
• notice good things that happened today and why (Why they happened or why they were good.) HANDOUT.
• notice good things that happened today and why (Why they happened or why they were good.) HANDOUT.
• Meditate or deep breathing.
I often share “loving kindness compassion” meditation with students. It is very concrete and easy to follow:
Here's a 5-minute mindfulness breathing meditation.
I often share “loving kindness compassion” meditation with students. It is very concrete and easy to follow:
Here's a 5-minute mindfulness breathing meditation.
• Take a walk
- Notice nature. (Try "forest bathing)
- If you are in a city, you can still notice nature. Trees, flowers, sounds (birds, etc.)
- Notice wabi-sabi. I live in Japan. Wabi-sabi is "beautiful imperfection." Japanese gardens -- uneven and asymmetrical -- are an example (in contrast with English gardens). I walk past wabi-sabi every day but often don't notice. Sometimes when I go for a walk, I take the time to really notice. Where ever you live, there is something beautiful to notice.
• Random acts of kindness. One of my favorites: Drop a foreign coin in a kids park. They'll find this "exotic" gift and wonder where it is from. (Photo: Lina Trochez/unsplash). My favorite school activity is Choco Ninja.
• Non-random acts of kindness (just unexpected). Do something kind for people who don't expect it. For example office staff, school guards, etc. Maybe a bag of chocolate. You will feel happy giving it. But they will probably share with others so they will be happier, too. You are spreading happiness.
• Non-random acts of kindness (just unexpected). Do something kind for people who don't expect it. For example office staff, school guards, etc. Maybe a bag of chocolate. You will feel happy giving it. But they will probably share with others so they will be happier, too. You are spreading happiness.
• Exercise. Exercise 3 times a week a strong in dealing with mild depression as psychiatric medicine. You gotta move. HERE is a link to exercise activities I use in class. Less than 5 minutes each. And HERE's another short article on exercise as a way of relieving depression symptoms.
- Laugh. Laughter is actually good for you. Find cartoons or youtube videos you like. The link is for a Mayo Clinic report on laughter.
• Cry. Crying is good for you, too. It releases oxytocin and endorphin, chemicals that make you feel better.
• Depression. More common than most of us think. It is a disease, not a weakness. Make it OK to talk about. If you or your students need professional help, get it. I show my students THIS MEME to bring up the topic. I use rainy season as an excuse to bring it up. Rainy season doesn't cause clinical depression, but it is a time many people feel down. I want them to know they can talk about problems and that I understand and will help them get help. HERE is an issue of the JALT Mind/Brain/Education SIG Think Tank magazine we did on the topic.
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD depression): SPRING. SUMMER AUTUMN (anxiety) WINTER
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD depression): SPRING. SUMMER AUTUMN (anxiety) WINTER
• Call/ talk to a friend/ family member.
• Write and send a post card or letter. (a couple of my friends highly recommend doing this with “old school” pen and paper, not email. Works for them.).
• Write and send a post card or letter. (a couple of my friends highly recommend doing this with “old school” pen and paper, not email. Works for them.).
Burnout. Here's a short article from Harvard Business Review on the topic. Burnout is a problem for many, many teachers.
• Find ways to deal with stress. There are many ways. Find one(s) that work for you. (photo: Anthony Tran / Unsplash)
When life sucks. If life is really bad, you might need to see a professional. Really, get help. But HERE is a useful article to read in the mean time.
(Photo: Markus Spiske/ Unsplash)
(Photo: Markus Spiske/ Unsplash)
Other sources of information:
• Lyubomirsky. S. (2007) , The How of Happiness, New York: Penguin.
• Akhtar, M. (2012) Positive Psychology for Overcoming Depression. London: Watkins.
• Lyubomirsky. S. (2007) , The How of Happiness, New York: Penguin.
• Akhtar, M. (2012) Positive Psychology for Overcoming Depression. London: Watkins.